Buddhism at Work:

Dave Simpson said...

Buddhism at Work:

I was mad yesterday. I didn’t get a gig that I wanted. Three of company’s managers wanted to move forward, but one put the kibosh on it. I mentally blamed the one fellow for being too narrow-minded and having a hidden agenda. But is that true? I really don’t know, but yesterday my angry mind told me it was true. But before I did anything stupid, I took a step back.

Usually when I want something, I’m apt to overestimate the good qualities of the object or situation. For example, I was primarily focusing on the potential income from the gig, and downplayed the potential downside of the opportunity. This exaggeration of qualities, both good and bad, is something most of us experience when we want something. Our judgment can get cloudy, and our pursuit of gain, pleasure, praise, or fame, leads us towards actions that can harm others (including ourselves).

Of course, the opposite is true when I don’t want something, or someone has blocked my goal achievement. I can exaggerate their undesirable qualities, and nurture a resentment, or at least, manufacture righteous indignation. This state of mind also clouds judgment, and often leads to harm, such as sending a silly email assigning blame to someone else.

When I stepped back and looked at my emotions and mindset last night, I examined my “wants” from the gig, and realized it was gong to be a tougher gig than I thought. I also imagined the manager who did not want to commit as someone who was bright, capable, and perhaps saw something in the proposal that I didn’t see. I actually began to appreciate him a bit more. My mind settled in to a restful state, and today, and can begin to strategize on how to win future gigs with this firm, with clarity of mind, and focus.

January 11, 2010 3:43 PM